the official club relaxzoolander news ®

the club relaxzoolander survivor ruling
as you know, the official survivor vote closed on feb. 14 2005.
the senior club r|z members met for 52 hours to discuss the outcome of the members poll as well as other important and immediate club issues...including the incidence of non-voting members. the final fallout from the survivor voting is twofold as follows:

1.
fryman has been removed from the club roster.

2.
all non-voting members have been removed* from the club roster.

this decision is final. the senior members also passed a motion to create a three tier membership structure. the three levels of member status will be the senior members—"the relaxers"...the junior members—"the zoolies"...and the apprentice members—"the landers". each level of membership will come bestowed with its own set of rules and privileges. these rules and privileges shall be created and published as relaxzoolander himself sees fit. members not acting in accordance with these member status rules and privileges will be subject to membership status reassessment by the club r|z membership subcommittee [of which relaxzoolander is the chairman].

[*---or severely reduced in member status—and put on double-secret probation.]


membership subcommittee announcement
the club r|z bylaws have been amended as of this date to include the following definition for the member status known as 'apprentice':

apprentice member [a r|z "lander"]: one bound by indenture to serve another [i.e.—higher ranking member] for a prescribed period [i.e.—as determined by the membership subcommitte chairman] with a view to learning an art or trade [i.e.—that of being a good club r|z member and fulfilling its duties]. one who is learning by practical experience [ai.e.—the examples set forth by the senior members] under skilled workers [see above] a trade, art, or calling [relaxzoolanderianism].


club r|z babefest 2005
the official club relaxzoolander sponsored babefest 2005 was held last month. a good time was had by all members who attended and enjoyed our v.i.p. box seats and the backstage passes supplied to all senior members. here's a nice babefest photo from the massively popular event.


club relaxzoolander survivor 2005 poll
the official club relaxzoolander voting poll has closed.
the results are posted below.
the club relaxzoolander senior ranking members have called an emergency meeting behind 'closed' doors to review the voting results and make an official announcement.
relaxzoolander is currently not available for comments.
no further information is available at this time.